Borrowing money

Not too long ago, JD & I did a topic on "Chronic Borrowers of Money".

His friend had borrowed money from him when that person had yet to pay for the last time he borrowed money from JD.

Now, I don't judge people who need to borrow cash for emergencies. Hey, I've had to ask a friend to lend me around RM200 cos my car suddenly had to be sent to the repair shop and I didn't have enough in my bank account to pay them. Hence, the borrowing. And as soon as my salary was in, I promptly paid her back. And yes, just asking someone for money, no matter what the reason, is not easy. Malu, tau! And when that person actually hands over the amount you asked for, then you should be grateful that your friend is willing to help you out. Hence, the most logical and courteous thing to do is to pay them back ASAP. Right?

Sadly, that’s not the case for most people. And sometimes, some of these people happen to be your own friends, or relatives. Sure, people use the saying “blood is thicker than water”. But does that give them the right to take you for granted or conveniently forget to pay or disappear completely? Like Helmy’s aunt who, with her business proposition, borrowed RM150,000 of his savings only to buy a brand new BMW 2 months later. When asked about the money, came up with all sorts of excuses and has yet to pay 1 cent.

Or how about those friends or colleagues who leech off you and the rest of the office building? A tenner here, a RM30 there… then will move up to RM100 or even RM500. And then, come pay day, doesn’t make the effort to pay up and instead decides to buy something expensive and new to show off. And this is the same person who complains that he / she doesn’t have enough money all the time. I’m not making this up here. These are people that you’ve either heard about or even know of.

Sometimes I wonder if these chronic borrowers of money have a tactic. Like, in order to gain your trust, when they borrow the first time, they will pay you back on time. Even on the second time, they’ll return the cash as soon as their salary’s in. But then, one day you’ll find that this person still hasn’t paid you back your RM100 and it’s already been like 4 months. But you try to tell yourself that it’s ok, he / she has paid me back before but then a whole year goes by and still nothing. Not even an acknowledgement. And you know for a fact that they can afford to. Only then do you start feeling that maybe you’ve been suckered. But then for some inane reason, you feel shy pulak to ask back for your own money. A feeling that most of us are quite familiar with even though we know there’s really no logical reason why.

From all the stories I’ve recently heard, seems the moral of the story is that if you want to get your money back, don’t be shy. Just ask. If you buat “donno”, then so will that borrower… And if you do it bluntly enough, that person won’t want to borrow from you again. That is, if you find people borrowing cash from you an annoyance.

Like I said, I’ve nothing against people who ask for money because of legitimate reasons. As I once posted up on my Facebook “Here's my take. Whether the person who lent you the money consider it charity or not, you as the borrower should make a concerted effort to pay that person back coz that person could have used their hard-earned money for something else. People who lend you the money shouldn't have to be the one to ask you back for their own money. It's the principle of things, that's all.”.

Sadly, friendships and relationships are broken over money or the fact that people who do the borrowing just don't pay back.

So, as one of our listeners, Sue, said “If you borrow money from people, don’t avoid the person. At least pay bit by bit. Don’t just simply disappear”.